It’s not often an 11 year old wants to do something especially nice for her mother.

However, on this day, I and my 16 year old cousin, Maxine, who was living with us at the time, wanted to surprise my mom and make dinner . Discovering some beef chunks thawing in the fridge, Maxine boasted that she knew how to make the best beef stew ever. Great idea!! We rummaged around the fridge searching through the detritus of old salad fixings and struck gold. Two carrots, two potatoes and an onion. Oh, yeah, this stew was going to be good! However, Maxine, not quite ready to give up on ingredients, raided the pantry for canned corn, tomatoes and peas. Hiding behind the can of peas, I spied a box of lemon pudding with a pie recipe on the back. I decided right then my contribution to this dinner would be my mom’s favorite dessert, lemon meringue pie. How hard could that be? Just follow the directions to make a crust, whip up the lemon pudding from the box, and make meringue. Finding all the ingredients I needed, I began my piece de resistance!" Wow, was mom going to be surprised when she came home to find dinner made and dessert to boot.

Now at the time, I was the oldest of 4 children. It was a Saturday and I have absolutely no recollection of where the rest of the family was that day. All I remember was that Maxine and I were alone in the kitchen wondering what to do with ourselves. Of course, Maxine being 4 years older knew her way around the kitchen far better than I. My expertise consisted of pouring cereal and making a soft boiled egg.

Maxine got to work right away and before I knew it, the stew was simmering and my stomach was gurgling from the delicious scents wafting through the kitchen.

To take my mind off the stew, I busied myself by starting on the crust. Easy as pie, just mix the flour with a little water, add a little sugar for sweetness, smush it up into a ball and then roll it out into a circle. Easier said then done. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to get the dough from sticking to my fingers and to the rolling pin. Every time I got it off my fingers, it stuck to something other than the circle I was trying to prepare. Finally, I just threw the whole globby mess into the pie pan. I proceeded to press and stretch it into a cockeyed looking circle. The more I stretched, the more holes began popping up in the dough. I tried patching the holes with little pieces of dough torn from the edge. The circle started shrinking as I tore off more and more dough to patch up the holes. The crust started looking like my Dad’s face when he put patches of tissue paper on it to cover his nicks from shaving.

Oh, who cares I thought. No one sees the bottom of a pie crust. As long as I can stretch the crust to the edge, it should be fine. Next, I began the luscious lemon filling. No problem, just pour in the lemon powder, add a little milk and beat until creamy. Down came Mom’s Mix Master and the process began. I was doing just fine until I decided to check on how it was coming along. I pulled out the beaters to take a look, forgetting to turn off the mixer. Lemon filling sailed through the air, only stopping abruptly when it hit a cabinet, the ceiling or any other object in its path, including my cousin Maxine’s dark hair. Sort of apologizing, I screamed out, "You always wished you were a blonde!" I can’t imagine why she didn’t think it was funny.

Fortunately, there was just enough filling left to pour into the crust. I decided to clean up the mess later. After all I had a meringue to make. Break the eggs, keep only the whites, then beat until foamy and stiff. Tricky, but doable! Well, I beat the life out of those slippery egg whites for quite a while. I don’t know about the stiff part. However, they did look nice and foamy so I poured them over the crust and put the whole thing in the oven. I figured the meringue would puff up while it cooked. To my chagrin, when I took the pie out, the meringue hadn’t grown a bit and looked like dish water that had been sitting around for a long time. Not to worry I thought, it would still taste good.

We cleaned up and set the table. When everyone returned, we seated them as if they were in a restaurant and served dinner. Mom was beaming. Everyone raved about the stew. Then it was my turn to bring in the finale of the evening. Proudly, I walked in and set the pie in front of my mom. "Lemon Meringue pie, Mom, your favorite," I declared. I knew Mom was excited because she had a great big smile on her face. I got out the pie knife and began to cut. I couldn’t get the knife through the crust and the filling began to gush all over the pan. "Not to worry," I exclaimed. I quickly ran into the kitchen and got a big serving spoon. With panache, I just scooped some onto everyone’s plate. Everyone dug in. Total silence ensued. I felt pretty darn good. It must be the best pie ever since nobody was talking. "Well, how do you like my pie ?" I asked . Everyone had stopped eating and the silence exploded into laughter. My sister Susan, who never was one to mince words, said with fake politeness, "Well, if you like slime on cardboard, it’s not bad." My brother Barry likened the crust to a rubber tire. And my littlest brother asked, "Can I eat the soap bubbles on top?" Dad just smiled and Mom gave me a big hug and said, "Good try, sweetheart, it’s the thought that counts."

It took me many years before I ever made a pie again. And it took about that long for my mother to get all the lemon filling, off the kitchen walls.


 
Diane Ambur divides her time between Silver Spring, Maryland, and Hilton Head, SC. When she’s not home, she travels the world with her husband Owen. Diane’s work has appeared in Lollipops Magazine, ArtsEdge (a Kennedy Center website for educators), VSAarts activity books, Dragonfly Spirit, Kidvision, Nature Friend and Stories for Children Magazine. She has also been involved in writing for the World Peace Passport Program, a global education initiative that inspires cultural understanding and friendship around the world.

Editor’s Note: If you would like to enjoy another story by Diane, please go to our Lifestyle/Travel section for “Life in a Nambia Village”.