What does the Catholic Church Mean to our Family in 2009?
A Story by Pamela Wayland Ryan
f you are a believer in a faith, how can your faith help you and your family this year? Ask yourself these questions: Does it bring you closer to your God, does it bring you together as a family, does it bring you closer as a parish? Do you give to your Church? And does your church give back to you?
I was raised Catholic. My siblings and I all went to Catholic schools, camps and even to Catholic universities to get our degrees. But I always questioned my faith and the Catholic Church. I than had to decide what faith should we should practice when I got married and began a family?
Married now for 18 years and having 2 children, my husband and I chose to raise our children in the Catholic Church. The church had been my home for so many years, whatever my questions, it seemed the right choice. Did we make the right decision for our family? I have not been able to answer that question yet. I am still hoping we did.
We became parishioners of a parish in Mansfield, Massachusetts in 1997. We gave birth to our first daughter that year, and she was baptized at our parish. At the time, we attended services irregularly. As our oldest entered Kindergarten we felt we should give her the best catholic educational experience possible. So we applied to be accepted into our parish’s school. Our decision was taken away from us when the school turned down her application. My husband and I were surprised but felt it was up to us to show that our faith was stronger.
I started my stewardship at our parish and taught CCD for six years. During this time we all became active in the church, attending service, donating weekly and our oldest went the to activities offered through the parish center. All this time we were hoping we would be shown a response that our family’s involvement in the parish at the appropriate level and she would be accepted even now in her 6th grade year. But we have been waiting for an opening that never came. In 2003 we were lucky enough to have a 2nd daughter. This made our faith even stronger and we continued with our efforts with our church and our parish.
We again, applied to St. Mary’s School in hopes that our 2nd daughter would be accepted into their kindergarten program. We felt that we had been a big part of the parish community and that our youngest would be given the opportunity for a catholic education. Much to our disbelief she was not accepted into their program either.
My husband and I asked each other: “What else could we possibly do? We donate our time. Our oldest is involved in teen events at the parish. We donate weekly to church. And I talked to many of my friends and family. And we all came to the same conclusion. The money…..
Our time and faith was not the issue. It was the size of the weekly donations that were enough. It then became apparent to me that in our parish and possibly in the Catholic Church at large that it is not stewardship, involvement or faith that matter but how many monetary funds we can contribute to the church.
We gave to our parish time, commitment and the money that our family’s budget could afford. We only requested one thing from the Catholic Church and our parish and that was to give our children the Catholic Education that I had received at their age. To continue a tradition of spiritual learning and education. Our family was denied this experience. After 12 years of service to our parish this was the only thing we had asked of them and we did not receive it. So, back to my original question.
What does the Catholic Church mean to our family in the year 2009? A church that asks of us what can we do for it but fails to respond to the needs and requests of our family.
My husband I would like our children to continue in the church and ultimately being confirmed in the Catholic Church. We would like to believe that this is not the Catholic life at large. But maybe we will need to be more discerning of where we practice our faith and in what parish. This will not be done at our current parish in Mansfield, Massachusetts but hopefully we can transfer to another parish that places its community and people above all else. Hopefully one with stronger values …..
Editor’s Note:
Pamela Wayland Ryan is the sister of International Family Magazine founder and managing editor, Catherine Wayland. This is Pamela’s first story with the magazine but has helped in countless ways with IF mag marketing efforts. We are thrilled that Pam had a story to share with our readers.
